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Since diagnosis

2 years, 11 months

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Quotation:

During chemo, you’re more tired than you’ve ever been. It’s like a cloud passing over the sun, and suddenly you’re out. You don’t know how you’ll answer the door when your groceries are delivered. But you also find that you’re stronger than you’ve ever been. You’re clear. Your mortality is at optimal distance, not up so close that it obscures everything else, but close enough to give you depth perception. Previously, it has taken you weeks, months, or years to discover the meaning of an experience. Now it’s instantaneous.”
Melissa Bank

Calender

February 2012
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The walk

One bright and sunny summer’s day,
My friend and I set out from home,
To get some fresh air and gently walk,
Through the pleasant countryside.

Past meadows bursting with wild flowers,
And fields of jaunty golden corn,
Beside a youthful, playful stream,
The warm air carried on a gentle breeze.

And all the while we chatted and spoke,
And talked of this or that,
Or made a joke or wry remark,
Until we came to a forest deep and green.

There dappled light danced in the air,
And so we stopped awhile,
Taking a seat upon a fallen trunk,
We sat a moment still and quiet.

And there below that green canopy,
We finally spoke about our feelings,
We spoke about the cancer deep inside,
That grew within us like a secret.

We spoke of worry for our family and friends,
We talked about our life and our mortality,
We talked about our dread and terror,
Our hearts were opened and we shed our tears.

Two full grown men sobbing with pain,
Like babes that cry without restraint,
The tears flowed hot and fast,
As our hearts outpoured their sorrow.

And when our hearts had emptied out,
A stillness came to settle in the air,
And in that timeless quiet space,
We looked around us at the trees about.

We felt somehow that those tall trees,
Had heard and understood our sorrow,
Our hearts were lighter- we stood up,
And continued on our country walk.

Walk (9/12/09)